Crazy Glue and Beer Don't Mix

Crazy glue is one of the coolest and powerful inventions on this planet. It ranks right up there with duct tape. I use crazy or super glue all the time to fix my kids' toys. Whenver something breaks I'm told to get the glue. I have this serious industrial glue that dries instantly and can easily glue a flat screen TV to the wall. Who needs those expensive wall mounting kits. So tonight, my kid brought me this Spider-man Karate Chop table that broke in half for his action figure. Naturally, I dug the glue out of my toolbox and went to work. I just dabbed a lit bit in the proper areas and held the pieces together. After a few seconds, I went to put it down. Usually my finger gets stuck to the toy from the extra residue. No biggie.

However, this was a biggie. I pulled my finger off to notice my middle, ring, and pinky finger were glued together. And not lust a little bit. I'm talking from fingertip to my hand. I don't know where all the extra glue came from. My first reaction was to freak out. Holy shit I'm deformed. I yelled. My wife laughed so hard she pee'd a little bit. I had to do something quick, it was drying. While my wife and kids laughed at me, I had to rip my fingers apart ripping some skin off of each other. Thank god I thought when they were seperated. Thank god until I noticed I couldn't make a fist now. The glue dried my fingers extended out. Aw crap...

Well, after soaking my hand in warm soapy water for twenty minutes, I was able to make a fist. I just have dried glue residue on my fingers.

No matter how much it sucked I was laughing the whole time. I'm deformed, but damn this is hilarious. After all was said and done. My wofe and I were joking about it. I went for a giant slug of beer right as my wife mentioned the initial look on my face and made an over dramatic reenactment of the face. This just made me lose it all over again spitting my beer all over the kitchen from my mouth and nose. Nothing burns more than Michelob Special Reserve spewing from your nose.

I'm glad I could entertain my family. Thank you I'm here all week. Try the veal.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's time to kill the turkey and stuff our faces until we puke stuffing. This day official starts the Christmas season. However, the Christmas season seems to start earlier and earlier. Stores start decorating for XMAS shortly after Halloween. Radio stations play Christmas songs 24 hours a day for 2 months straight. All Christmas junk aside, lets talk turkey.

I'm putting the finishing touches on my pumpkin bisque which I am taking over to my parent's house. My house smells of garlic and onions right now. It's good for the sinuses. My parent's house won't be as crowded as past years, which is nice. However, how in the hell are we going to eat a 20lb turkey. And that doesn't include the stuffing, corn, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, rolls, cranberry sauce, and all them pies.

The women will be in the kitchen preparing everything for our stomachs. Kids will be in the basement playing with toys. And the guys will be watching football. Ah the traditions. Sipping a strong seven and seven on the couch watching some gridiron classics. This year I am throwing my laptop in the car, especially since my dad finally got broadband and a wireless router. Maybe my Sony PSP will make it into the car as well, but that might be a little overkill. Then I have to listen to my mom complain that I spend so much time playing games or on my computer. Blablabla....

Well this ends the post. Time to finish my coffee...and the bisque...and get the family ready.

Please eat and drink responsibly this holiday season.

Karaoke with Ed Qwik?

So, last night I went to the Hammerhead Lounge to visit a friend of mine who does karaoke at various bars. I stopped by because he owed me some cash for web hosting I do for his DJ/karaoke site called Simply the Best Party. He calls himself Karaoke Karl and he puts on quite a show. He definetly is an entertainer and doesn't care how nutty he gets. While I was there, he talked to me again about helping him out by doing weddings, parties, and bar gigs again. He has been asking me for the last two years and I always pondered the possibilities. It's been 6 or 7 years since I picked up a microphone. I used to be a rock DJ in the late 90s for WZZO 95.1FM. It's definetly a different aspect of the entertaining field. I am so used to performing in a studio where I can't see my listeners. However, I did alot of bar promotions and other public events where I had crowds staring at me.

However, for me to pull of this job I would have to remove myself from my current job. Earlier this year I started driving a truck delivering uniforms. At first, it was a great job cause it got me off of third shift at an internet company I worked for. I got outside in the daytime, exercise, and lost 15 pounds. However, they finally built my own route instead of covering for other people. This is all well and good except the route is a ball buster but lacks the commision for the time I will spend doing it. Alot of the accounts I have are national accounts and they pay pennies for their uniforms and other products. I could be looking at 60+ hours a week. That sucks donkey sausage. This new route will tire my ass out and will restrict what days my wife can go to work. (We have two young kids that we take care of at home.)

So much to think about, so much risk. Being a grown up sucks. All of these tangents that you need to factor in to decisions makes my head hurt. If I stay with my current job, I will be too tired to perform on the weekends and some weekdays. Plus, my wife's work is thinking about making her an assistant manager, which she won't be able to do if I stick with the truck business.

Another thing I have to worry about is killing my cynical self which I have slowly created over the last decade. Especially after doing internet support to dumb old people for five years, destroying my bachelor hood with marriage and kids (which don't get me wrong I love my family), and so many other adult related issues. It's time to resurrect the old Eddie of the past of wild crazy ass attitude of fun and social being. No more recluse hobbit.

AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Stay tuned...

Started Disc Golfing Again

It's been almost 2 years since the last time I played disc golf. I think the last time was Ice Bowl 2003 at the South Mountain course in Bethlehem, PA. Disc golf is a great sport and a perfect reason to take a walk in the woods. Sunday, Chris and I went out and shot a round. I really needed to get out of the house. All work and no play will drive you insane or depressed. Chris also hasn't been out on a course in 2 years. Those out there who have kids know how time restraints go. It sucks, but its our responsibility to take care of what is important first. I'm hoping to get out more often now. Back in the days of our youth, all of us used to go out at least twice a week. Now a majority of our old crew couldn't even find their discs. (I bet.)

To help me stay active in discing, I am going to try and get involved with the local clubs of the area. They hold lots of events like tournaments, doubles, and work days where we clean up the courses. This is the current site of the local club. I'm hoping to build them something a little more useful than a yahoo! Group. Those web groups do okay if you have little information and a small member base. The local club could use full features to get them recognized. I doubt they need more publicitiy right now since they just hosted the 2005 World Championships in July.

Anyways, back to my round on Sunday. Since I haven't been out in so long I was setting my goal at 12 over par. Yea its not that great but I wasn't sure how I was going to toss. The front 9 wasn't looking so hot when I closed out with a 7 over par and one missed birdie (or bird dog) attempt. I somehow turned it around and ended up with an 8 over par and birdied the last hole. Which I never did before when it is in the farthest pin placement. I had a total of 3 missed birdie shots, but I will take it and build off of it.

Now to get me back in the toss of things, I need to buy myself a portable basket to putt into. So help me out and click my Google ads on the side. :)